This post is a continuation on a theme I have talked about before...

...Dating & Finding "the one"...

You may ask yourself why a 48 year old woman who has been married for 27 years is talking about dating?  Well, it's because I have three daughters and those three daughters have lots of girl friends and this is a topic that comes up a LOT at the McCollough house! :)

And if you are interested in reading more on this, you can look up my old blog posts on this subject:

Oh Boy{s}...

Red Flags of Innocence

I've had several moms let me know they had their daughters read these posts.  So this time around I thought I would focus on the GIRLS.

The P31 girls... Have you heard of that term before?  This is in reference to the verses in Proverbs 31 that talk about a Godly wife. Granted their is some stuff in those verses I'm not knowledgeable about and is probably controversial in this day and age, but it is an excellent reference to what we should be training our girls to become as women who will be married and have a family some day.  I'd like to find a great bible study on this and I'm sure they have one at Proverbs31Ministries if you want to search it out.


So before I begin I want to ask you girls a question:

Who are you looking for?

Truly.  What is on your list?  If you don't have a list... start one.  I'm serious!  It's good to have a vision of what you want and ask the Lord to show you what He would want for you as well!  Look at this with spiritual eyes.

So think hard about that while I talk to you...

For example, my oldest daughter who is engaged and about to get married in 6 weeks had a LOT on her list, I mean SO much!  But guess what?  She BELIEVED that the Lord would bring him to her and He did!  The list looked something like this: (not in any particular order)

- An Italian (she had a thing for dark haired Italian boys... ;)-
- A Christian (which was at the top of her list I'm sure!)
- Someone who was interested in Ministry
- Someone who preferably could play music and be in Music Ministry
- Someone who went to Calvary Chapel (since she was going to CCBC)
- Someone who had dark wavy hair
- Someone who dressed cool and had good style (aka... Hipster)
- Someone who LOVED Coffee... LOVED it.
- Someone who loved to travel
- Someone who was really into music and listening to all kinds of music

These are seriously just the ones that I can remember... the list was longer than this!  Can you imagine?  A girl from Southern California (not Italy) and all these "wishes or desires" in a soul mate!?!  I though it was laughable!  But... as a mom you don't say that right?


Oh man... I'm such a mess.  I totally said it to her! (and got in an argument with her)  I told her she was a little too crazy on her wish list!  Oh ye of little faith...right?  Because the Lord literally brought her someone with Every. Single. One. Of. Those. Traits.  

(You can find out more about their love story on my blog post on January 6th's Love, Tuesday... )

And you know why?

Because she FIRMLY BELIEVED, and she brought those requests to the Lord, and she TRUSTED that He can do ALL THINGS!  

And now I am a FIRM BELIEVER TOO!  

So write your list girls... but ALSO BELIEVE.   And pray, pray, pray!  We have prayed for our daughters spouses since they were born and I am a firm believer in prayer!  As you can read in my older posts, we have seen how the Lord brought Dany (a little boy in Italy that we didn't know we were praying for) into Victoria's life as an incredible testament to God's GREAT plans! 

TRUST that the Lord is GOOD and He will bring the man of your dreams to you!  Oh, he won't be perfect.  He WILL have traits that you won't be so peachy keen about... He will have a few that may bug you big time. ;)-  But remember those traits you DID want.   He will have those.  He will be your helpmate, your soulmate and the Lord will remind you that you will be HIS.  And guess what?  You come with some annoying traits too!  hahaha  

But that is REAL LIFE FOLKS.  You take the good with the bad and you pray over  All. Of. It!

I haven't been married 27 years to the PERFECT man.  I've been married 27 years to the man God has for me and THAT is what is perfectly God designed.  Know the difference because you can't go into this looking for the perfect man... he's not out there.

I was actually talking to my hair stylist... (Yes us girls, we TALK while our hair is gettin' done)  He's actually a man, but a Godly man who, with the help of his beautiful and Godly wife, is raising two young men.  So it's very interesting to hear it from his perspective.  I only have girls so we don't see the other side much.

He was talking about how he talks to his boys.  How he is training them to see girls not as an object (like this world does) but a TREASURE.  How he is training them to see there is a RESPONSIBILITY if you want to date them. (i.e. you need to have a job, a car, money...) How he is training them to WAIT.  To VALUE that first kiss.  Because he is trying to show his boys that girls see that kiss with different eyes than a boy does!  (Amen... preach it brother!)  That kiss...  It opens up a girls HEART whereas for a boy it's just opens up his eyes.  (i.e... I see pretty girl... I want to have that.)  Not quite as caveman-ish but close.  hahaha  Guys are visual, girls are emotional.


It gives me HOPE that there are boys out there being lead in the right direction!

Because this momma of three girls is still praying for the boys who will grow up to be Godly men for our girls.

I read an article recently (by Christina Sharp) that hit home with this and it reminded me of what I had said in my "Oh Boy{s} post.

So I will ask you again girls...  What are you looking for?

A nice Christian boy?

Wrong answer...

See there is a BIG difference between a Christian Boy and a Godly Man.

You want the Godly man...

I posted this photo on the blog post to boys, but it's worth sharing here too.  I also want you to read part of the article that I read about Christian Boys vs. Godly Men:

"Ladies, there is a huge difference between a Christian boy and a Godly man...

A Godly man will pursue an honest relationship with you. He will be clear of his intentions. A Godly man will worship, pray and passionately praise God with you. Whereas, a Christian boy might open the door for you, a Godly man will open his bible and explore God’s word with you so that you both may grow spiritually, together. While a Christian boy may put on an outward show, a Godly man will live out the love of Jesus daily.

So ladies, are you catching on to this ongoing trend? A Godly man does more because you deserve more.

A Godly man will be a leader. Trust me, I know that in today’s society Godly men are few and far between while Christian boys come in plenty. But you deserve a man who is after God’s heart not just a boy who goes to church. And I know that this Christian boy may seem great and have some really stellar qualities at the time but money and looks fade, whereas, an ongoing love for our savior will not."

You can read the full article here.

I originally made this bible journaling page for the last blog post on Shining a light.  But I actually decided to save it for this post because I think it ties it together.  I talked in the last post about the Lords light shining in us and how that looks.  But also how He shines His light in us, to refine us.  I think of these verses in 2 Corinthians 4 and it's talking about light shining out of darkness... and how we are a treasure in a jar of clay.  Think about that?  As I was talking to my hair stylist about this topic, he reminded me how easily clay jars can break.  Isn't that true of us girls too?  We have heartbreak, we feel insecure, we loose confidence, we doubt ourselves... the list goes on and on of all our brokenness.   But INSIDE... there is a LIGHT!  Dig deep, pray and lean into that light.  It is shining through all that "darkness" because we have the Lord in our lives! 

That is what is SO important to remember girls!  And guess what... when you are looking for that Godly man, look for the light that shines from within him.  Yes, he may be a broken vessel too.  But if you see the Lord shining in his life, and he is "hard pressed, but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned..."  Pray that the Lord will show you how to shine TRUTH into his life.  Maybe the Lord is calling you to be a light together for the Lord!

Psalm 86: 11 "Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.  12 I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever."

David and his Psalms... He was so great and so stupid all at the same time! hahaha... And the Lord LOVED him greatly.  A broken vessel?  For SURE!  But still being used by the Lord?  For SURE!  But to this day... David is still shining His light to us through his words, in God's Word!

I pray the Lord is teaching you...  Walk in His TRUTH.  Read His Word each day.  Read the Psalms and Proverbs, especially Proverbs 31.  Be patient and wait on His perfect timing.  See what the Lord wants to shine through you.  Find your path, AND your soulmate by seeking the Lord.


Girls, he is worth the wait.  Don't loose hope.  He is out there!  You may not see it yet because he is still growing into that Godly man thing... 

But also, don't stop working on the Godly girl who is staring you in the mirror each morning.  What is the Lord wanting to work on in your life?  

You know that list I asked you to compile?  Keep it.  Look over it.  Change it as the Lords shows you new things... Pray over it!  Look at it from the guys perspective.  What is truly important on that list?  What would the Godly man want YOU to be?  What would he have on his list?  What would the Lord want you to have as the "must haves" on that list?

There is so much HOPE ladies!  Do NOT settle.  Wait for him.

If you're on Instagram I highly recommend you follow @Proverbs31ministries and @lysaterkeurst.  Lysa wrote an amazing book called "Uninvited" that I know a lot of young women are finding very inspirational!  Go check those out and have a GREAT weekend!!

Hugs to all,